How to Help My Dog With Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a difficult for you and for your dog. It could cause them to break out of crates. It could cause them to tear up your house. It could just make it impossible for them to rest when you are away. Separation anxiety often results from a relationship where your dog feels responsible for their own safety. At some point they saw you walk away and did something to make themselves feel better. Maybe they chased you down or maybe they barked in their crate. But most likely, they offered some sort of behavior that got them what they wanted. You either came back to them, let them out of their crate, they broke out of their crate or they just ran next to you and they learned that fear was justified because their actions were successful! The successful behavior justifies the anxiety which then creates stronger behavior as we travel down this self-reinforcing cycle. Separation anxiety is the most common anxiety in dogs, but it looks different in different situations. Common separation anxiety behaviors include:
whining
barking
trying to break out
destroying things
clinging to you
Counterconditioning
A good first step in helping redefine the emotional and physiological response in your dog when they see you leave them is counterconditioning. Counterconditioning is a term that simply means reconditioning a stimulus (you leaving them) with a negative association for your dog to one with a positive association. This takes a strong positive reinforcer like play or a high value treat and a lot of successful repetitions and may not completely rehab your dog’s anxiety, but it is a fantastic way to start. As best you can, you want to keep your dog under threshold (where they begin to freak out) and have a lot of successful repetitions giving them positive rewards every time you leave and then return. Create a little space for a short time and then reward them heavily. Steadily and slowly increase the distance and duration you leave them always heavy rewards.
Don’t reinforce anxiety
If your dog is anxious, you want to do your best to wait for a calmer state of mind before you give them something they want. In other words, if they are going crazy in their crate, don’t let them out until they calm down. Then let them out. If they are being pushy and anxious for food, a toy, or your affection, don’t give it to them. Wait for them to calm down, and then give them what they want. In all times, try to not give them something they want when they are anxious if you can wait for a calmer state of mind to give it. I love giving my dogs table scraps. Often I’ll throw meat on the grill just for them. But I won’t give it to the pushy, begging dog. I will only give the scrumptious morsel to the dog chilling out in a calm state. The calmer state always comes, as fatigue always eventually takes over, but sometimes it takes some time and patience to wait it out. If they are pushy to get to you when you get up to go to the kitchen or the bathroom, shut them out behind you with a gate or a door or have someone in the house hold them on a leash so they can’t get to you because they feel so compelled.
Anxious behavior can’t be successful
Every time your dog acts out of anxiety and what they do is successful from their perspective, it reinforces their anxiety. Every time they try to get out of their crate and actually do, it reinforces their anxiety and then their drive to get out of their crate.
For more advice on crating your anxious dog, check out my crate training blog here.
Every time they bark in their crate and you come to get them, it reinforces their anxiety and their need to bark until you come the next time. Every time they’re nervous about how far away you are and chase you down, it reinforces their anxiety because it got them close to you again. This happens because when what they do is successful, it teaches them that you couldn’t protect them and they had to fix it themself. You need to change the relationship. You need to teach them they can trust you when they’re scared and they don’t have to make it better. At any time if what they do is from fear, you have to interrupt it. You can’t let it work. Every time they run under the bed to hide during thunderstorms or loud noises, ask them to come out and endure the storm with you. Every time they chase you down because you’re not next to them, take them back and have someone hold them with a leash. Teach them that it’s not their responsibility to be next to you and that when you leave, you will come back. They can trust you. You have to teach them that doing what you ask actually protects them and not what they feel they need to do themselves.
Obedience training is a great way to begin to interrupt this self-reinforcing cycle of anxiety and anxious behavior. You can use commands to build that trust that listening to you keeps them safe. I would begin training as soon as possible.